You have to look at life and smile. There will be days that are unrivaled in the power of their awesomeness. Yesterday was my last day at Dell, Inc. and while sitting and talking to some friends that I shall do my damnedest to keep in touch with I realized:

I am a Single White Female Gamer MMO Addict and now a well paid System’s Specialist….

The world is my oyster and I’m friggin loving it!!

Mad crazy amount of badge runs for Tanalei my Druid on WoW is my evening plan – I really want to help get OSX Knights up to the point where it is a raiding guild. Will probably never be more than a 10 man but I am completely cool with that fact. I want to be able to raid with friends on evenings and weekends and watch my Big Bear Ass tank through all of ICC… Preferably before Cataclysm hits.

I rebuilt my blog this morning and removed all of the /cry whiny emo shit of my past in preparation for whatever the future may bring.

Live Life… I promise it is an Adventure!

Wow… 6 months no posts and alot of stuff has hit the fan in the proverbial and literal sense.

World of Warcraft. The unthinkable has happened in the land of Azeroth… I’m playing a Mage. I know, I know. I swore on the eternity of my soul back in the Vanilla WOW days that I would never play the blasted class after running my Ex-Fiance’s Icemage through Black Wing lair more times than I care to think about. But the urge… it hit me… So now I have Caldari (Seriously… what better name for a fire mage??) That i’m rocking it up on Muradin and it is a HELL of a lot more fun than I remembered. The flexability the survivability and the yummy yummy power. I realize that some people (most people) will say that there are better options other than fire but it just makes me gigle on the inside.

I also went back to leveling my Warrior. I’m a tank kindof girl and between these to characters I have virtually abandoned my trademark Druid Tanalei. I never would have thought that would ever happen honestly. I loved the flexability and the shapeshifting qualities of the Druid. being able to come in and say I can do almost anything better than you. It is win. But anymore I’m going mainstream – Warrior = Tank mage = Damage and not playing my hybrid. It is odd. When Cat hits I’m still not sure what I am playing.

EVE Online. The urge is rising again to log back in for mining operations of doom and see what has changed recently. It’s been about 6 months and getting my EVE Blog Banter every month is slowly but surely making me want to flip the switch and reactivate everything. Pull my Orca out of it’s hanger and field my hulks and just smile as I watch the belts disintegrate. The only hard thing for me and one of the limiters on me going back is I need to make sure I log in almost every day for Skill Updates when I mainly field my EVE life on the weekends and for once I’m actually venturing out into the universe (the real one with people in it… I know right?!?!) for the first time really.

Life in General. I’m in the midst of a midlife crisis. It’s lovely. I’m living in the moment and feeling today for the first time ever. It is an amazing rush and things are going just the way I like it. If you asked me a month or even 6 months ago if I would be where I am at the moment there is no way I would be able to predict life as it is in this moment. I’m working out – seriously – and loosing weight and attempting to push myself to be not only my uber gamer girl self… but a hottie. I’m wondering if it will break the time space continuum…

But the news of the day is… I’m back… Yup that’s right I’m active again in the universe digitally and in real life it’s and uber rush and I’m allong for the ride of a lifetime. be it as a nerd, Dork, Gamer Girl, Mage, Warrior, Miner or Pirate. It’s here and now.

Well, it is official… I have 2 of my 3 accounts reactivated. Tanalei and Avesaria have emerged into the amazing workd of Eve and are out mining the hell out of the Universe yet again!

But belt nullification is not the only thing on my Eve horizon anymore. I have done what was unthinkable to myself a year ago…

I have entered 0.0

Admittedly it wasn’t on my characters (flew some 0.0 mining ops with one of the BF’s 5 acccounts) but the appeal is definatley there. The only trick is – If i were to move to this land of lawlessness (which apparently I do have an invite) I would have to abandon all of my high sec ventures and actually get on some kill mails.

The requirement to leave BHI and the required PVP time is the only thing that is keeping me from moving once I have 2 Billion in Isk again.

But as my adventures continue (and they will) I will continually update. I don’t think I will be leaving Eve for a long while.

By the way… The ore hanger they added to the Orca is WIN!!!

Good and interesting news!! (Some EVE some not…) Lots of things have happened since my last post and it looks as if my three accounts will be coming online October 1^st!!!

Thankfully I am now employed again. I was seriously starting to go batty without any form of employment; I personally am not a human that can sit at home not doing anything at all for long periods of time. I will go ape shit.  It’s now officially been proven. I passed my Cisco Certified Network Associate exam so I am officially certifiable now. I started working with Dell doing Tech support for the Army Reserves; it is interesting to say the least. The idea of me getting security clearance is still a point of hilarity between me and all my friends. The good news is that Dell does have locations internationally and I am looking at possibly moving to Europe in the next year or two which means there is an option of being able to move as a transfer and no worries about a job when I get there.

I am actually no longer a single she-gamer. I am seeing a long time friend of mine now who I will admit is a big influence in me possibly moving to Europe in a year or so. I am actually hopping on a plane and flying 5,600 miles to Denmark on the 24^th to go and see him so we shall see where it goes. It is always nice to be able to sit and have a conversation about how The Horde is FTW, 3.5 DND is better than 4.0 and I can attempt to convince him missiles are better than drones any day. I just came to the realization if the two of us ever sat down to play eve together he has 4 accounts he runs and I have 3 (well 4 really if I count my brothers that he never plays and I d) accounts… is 8 accounts, 2 people, one room getting a bit excessive???

Nah!

Speaking of dating and gaming I watched a very… interesting, to say the least… documentary called Second Skin. http://www.secondskinfilm.com/ It attempted to take a non partisan stance on gamers, even though it focused 80% on World of Warcraft and 20% on Everquest 2, it went into obsessions, expansions, addictions, families, dating and a little bit of everything you may run into in an MMO, including friendships. But one thing I got to thinking about when it was talking about dating is the fact that I would never date a man, or a woman for that matter, who wasn’t a gamer. Period. Now will I openly admit that this is unfair, yes. But probably not for the reasons you think.

There is a 10:1 gamer ratio of male to female gamers. Obviously with such a one sided ratio you can’t be a guy and expect to meet a female gamer, fall madly in love, get dogs and name them Caldari and Gallente and have little gamer babies. There just aren’t enough female gamers in the world. You can hope to convert the love of your life to videogames and/or MMO’s. Maybe get a decent priest or a dedicated remote repair that you don’t have to bot out of it or maybe if you are lucky she will love professions and every one of your characters now makes mad bank.  However, if you are a female gamer you can expect that. You can set out and say, “I will never get in a long term relationship with anyone who is not a gamer.”

It’s not fair for the men of the Gaming universe.

I sit and think about how I would react if my boyfriend told me that “it’s the videogame or me!” I honestly don’t know how I would respond to that. I would never get into a relationship with a guy who would ever want to say that to me. I love the idea of sitting down for a full day mining op breaking out my orca with my hauler and two miners and pulling ice for half the day and minerals the other half. Having five hulks in belt and having to press my attention span to make sure the orca hold is being properly emptied. Getting online together in a 25 man raid and running for 4 hours, praying for epic drops. Randomly running missions or questing the afternoon away together or apart. I will not remove that from my life.

So many men have to and it really just isn’t fair.

As much as I do love eve unfortunately due to the fact I am unemployed and have been for 6 months and money is tighter than ever I am having to temporarily close all of my accounts. While the accounts are closed I am going on a temporary Hiatus and when i have the cash flow everyone gets turned back on again.

Until then if you are wanting to keep up with my blog about the real world and not eve-online it can be found on myspace. Feel free to friend me if you have a myspace account. I love writing my blog about eve and I love eve itself but unfortunately a break is required due to finances.

My myspace page can be found at http://myspace.com/forever_tanalei

I was sent an email by a girlfriend of mine that she thought would hit close to home and ironically it did, it was called Dealbreaker: The Sexless Guy.
( http://www.thefrisky.com/post/246-dealbreaker-the-sexless-guy/?obref=outbrain )

I found the article so truthful and hit so close to home it isn’t even funny. I have had to initiate everything in all of my relationships and I’m tired of it!

I was watching a pointless hot chicks drama llama show today while I studied. I realized….

I am more attractive than half the girls on this show.

I’ve never thought that about myself before in my life. I have always been the bottom of the barrel in my opinion because when a girl who is a walking toothpick is considered drop dead amazing hot who also doesn’t need a bra because there are no boobies to hold is sitting pretty on the cover of vogue there is no chance for a girl with curves.

Thus I thought that “It’s Ok for your partner to never come onto you, it’s the natural order. You are that ugly duckling that never became a swan. I can’t blame him for not wanting to tap it.” I am realizing that is all sorts of bullshit and it’s not my fault at all! I am attractive! I just apparently have a magnet attached to my back for guys who don’t give a shit about getting laid after the first 3 months.

Therefore from this moment forward let it be written and forever remembered:

I shall never be in a relationship where a man does not want to tap my ass on a regular basis. I am attractive and if you don’t think so… Piss off.

The want to tap my ass must be told to me in some way shape and/or form because I will not beg for sex ever again from a partner. (There are a few circumstances where this would be ok )

I will only be told “No” to sex so may times before I say “No” to you. If the threshold has been crossed and if I am in a committed relationship where sex has occurred, I expect sex to continue. To many No’s will now equal a goodbye.

Sex is an amazing healthy beautiful thing. There is nothing wrong with shagging at all. I personally believe a shag a day keeps the doctor away. Or at the very least an O a day.

I will never again in my life “settle” for a guy who doesn’t want my heart, my brain and want to see if it is possible to make rabbits step back and say:

“Woah… That’s getting a little excessive…”

I came across this story as I was reading a new comic and for some reason it hit me as a life’s lesson or a profound piece of wisdom I don’t know. I just though I would share.

“If you are unhappy”

Once upon a time, there was a nonconforming sparrow who decided not to fly south for the winter.

However, soon the weather turned so cold that he reluctantly started to fly south. In a short time ice began to form on his wings and he fell to earth in a barnyard, almost frozen. A cow passed by and crapped on the little sparrow. The sparrow thought this was the end. But, the manure warmed him and defrosted his wings. Warm and happy, able to breathe, he started to sing. Just then a large cat came by and, hearing the chirping, investigated the sounds.

The cat cleared away the manure, found the chirping bird, and promptly ate him.

The moral of the story:

1. Everyone who shits on you is not necessarily your enemy.
2. Everyone who gets you out of the shit is not necessarily your friend.
3. And, if you are warm and happy in a pile of shit, keep your mouth shut.

I have my CCENT Certification!!!!!!!!

I am the shiznit in all of my glory!! Bow I say!! I don’t ever remember feeling this happy or accomplished in all of my life. I truly believe this is the first time I have ever done something on my own with my own strengths and come out on top. I went in I took my test and I Passed.

It was all Me.

Justin has been an AMAZING tutor and there is no way I could possibly ever thank him enough for helping me out the way he has.

Tonight will be a wondrous evening of booze, ribs, zuchinni cakes and mario cart! What more can a girl ask for?

In all of my life I have never felt this high on myself and my achievements that are purely mine. I could walk on clouds at the moment.

Well a lot has happened since my last post. I’m temporarily up in Missouri, I headed this way around the 3rd of March and I’ll be up here until the first of April. Trying to cope with my internet going from 20MB down to 10 MB on a good day is killing me. I am also single now. My EX and I realized that we are best friends and love each other to death just not THAT way and so we are still roommates but we have both moved on. He has found a new girl who I think will work out great for him.

Which brings me to the point of my post… I have started putting myself up on some of the on-line dating websites about a week ago and since I’m a female gamer I am converting the single nerd male masses to EVE Online.

I find this intriguing personally….

I have up on my profiles that I have two dogs, I love movies and books and I’m a gamer. So the first response I have been getting is oh I play WoW… I explain been there, done that and bought the T-Shirt (literally) and begin to explain how EVE is better.

Standard response “Oh but my RL friends play” and/or “I raid”

Counter: You don’t have to be logged in to increase your skill levels or if you do it right even your monies.

Standard response: “No way!”

So one of the new friends I have made has made a new account and is playing and might get some of his friends to switch to the dark side of the MMO universe.

Online dating as a new recruiting tool for EVE. Who’d have thought?

Unfortunately life has struck with avengence.  Some very unexpected things have come down the works and I am needing to address them and I should be back in a week. Hopefully everything will turn out for the best and life will be back to a semblance of normalcy and we can figure out where everything is going from there.

BBIAB

Tanalei, Avesaria, Tanave