So I left off my last post saying that Gary is doing much better post op and thankfully that is still holding true to form. He is feeling much better and eating well again and the pain has gone down substantially. On another good note he finally got his promotion and his pay raise is in effect so all is good at work as well. We found out they might be fast tracking him to assistant and if they do that means benefits and salary which are both good words in our household.
As the title suggests I have again visited the local Edmond Medical Hospital. Yes I still have the luck of unlucky roadkill - you know that possum you hit and go back and forth over 15 times and when you back up to look at it it is still moving - yup that’s me.
Yesterday I went to Michael and Berry’s house after the three of us went and saw Prince Caspian - awesome movie by the way. We then headed over to their house and played Wiifit all afternoon and late into the evening - about 12 am - and completely wore myself out but it was amazingly fun and I am more determined to find a way to get my hands on one than I ever was before mainly because even though I was sore and exhausted when I went to bed when I woke up I felt wonderful with no pain and immediately wanted to go back and get on it again which is new for me.
Upon waking up this morning (around 10:30 but I stayed in bed until noon with Gary) I promptly hopped out of bed and made biscuits and sausage gravy for everyone and decided I would have a bake war with myself for fun. Three flavors of chocolate covered pretzels - white, strawberry, and normal milk chocolate - puppy chow as well as a batch of some chocolate chip cookies with pecans. So at about 2pm after doing all of the dishes and feeding everyone and grabbing food for myself the baking commences!!! And what do I start with?? Why my favorite item of course! White chocolate covered pretzels.
Now Cathy, Gary’s Mom, Gave us three bowls of chocolate (hence the three flavors) once she found out that I liked making chocolate covered pretzels because she had some extra from something that she did. So I break out the White chocolate bowl and try to get the chocolate out. Unfortunately I discover it was put in hot and has since adhered itself to the bottom of the bowl. Kristin’s brain instantly goes - Well. Just cut it out then. So i get a knife and start slicing the chocolate out of the bowl into the double boiler on the stove holding a knife in one hand and the bowl of chocolate in the other. In this stupid position apparently I also forgot that you are never supposed to cut towards yourself, keep this in mind. So here I am I have 3/4 of the chocolate out of the bowl and then I slice back and the knife keeps going beyond the chocolate allong the rim of the bowl and a 1/4 inch into the palm of my hand.
Yup that’s right I am a genius.
So I instantly thing save the chocolate! Remove the knife drop the bowl on the sink and proceed to scream and cry like a little girl over to the sink and turn the water on. This rightly freaks both Ogre and Gary out that are sitting in the Living room and they come running in to see wtf is going on and see blood on floor and all over the sink and a screaming crying Kristin. Gary still in his PJ’s runs for insurance and grabs his keys. Ogre puts paper towels in my hands and wraps that with a towel and says “hold it as tight as you can” (this comment becomes much funnier later) and we run to the truck and start heading to the hospital.
On the way we discover apparently I am hysterical in bad situations - both definitions uncontrolled panic and wildly funny - and proceeded to rant about how I needed to start bidding on massive amounts of common sense on Ebay. We arrive, me still crying like a banshee, and we fill start filling out all of the personal info to get me in to see the doctor. We have all the basics until we get to the “reason for visit” and Gary stops and is trying to think of how to describe the incident. I began putting in my opinions - I’m a dumbass, Stabbed myself while cutting the chocolate, I do all my own stunts, I’m a double dipped dipshit, etc. - thereupon he continues to laugh uncontrollably.
We finish all of the paperwork and I head back to the nurse and discover that the comment to hold the towel on my hand as tight as possible doesn’t mean cut off the blood flow which I have successfully done and now my fingers and knuckles are blue. So upon removing the towel and blood flow surging back my hand REALLY starts hurting and I am cursing Ogre for the “hold it as tight as you can” comment however I have successfully stoped the bleeding at the wound so all is good in that respect. The nurse while she is taking my blood pressure asks “you aren’t taking any regular medications are you? And the first thing that goes through my head is “crap you are kidding me I’ll be here all day!” So i start rattling off everything I am on… Crestor, Tricore, Fish Oil, Fiber Pills, Lunesta, Ambian, Mobic, daily multivitamin, ortho evra - and the lady is looking at me like I’m a loon of course.
We finish up at the entry station and I am escorted back to a room where a Doctor, a Nurse Practitioner, and a Nurse walk into the room (no this is not a joke I just realized that that sentence has the same setup as a walk into a bar joke…) and I proceed to get them all laughing hysterically. Not sure what I was saying just knew that my hand hurt. Upon all of this happening I get a local numbing agent and they proceed to give me three stitches. Me being the Klutz Queen everyone knows me to be might find it slightly amusing that this is my first experience with stitches and I have plans to never allow it to happen ever again. Yeah that wasn’t fun and dear god I must have made someone deaf because I screamed my lungs out.
I finish up everything and they discharge me and wrap my hand in bandages advise me clean and dry for 24 hours and give me all of the instructions for having a safe and happy hand. They also didn’t give me melt away thread like my back was so I have to have all of the stitches removed in a week. Also not a fun concept. Gary on the way out realized he took me to the ER in his PJ’s and he’s like “I never leave the house in my PJ’s” I responded that’s just because he cared for me he went for comfort and not fashion. We get back home and confirm the chocolate is safe and blood free while talking to my sister and get invited over for pork steaks.
Gary has to head to work but he drops me off so that I can go hang with my sister and Ralph her husband. Michael and Berry were also there as well as Chereena and Braken her new beau. I like him BTW he is my favorite in the past 6 years. We eat which is always good and hang out a bit. Stacy gave me an awesome briefcase that has rollers and is big enough for my laptop however when I was leaving in all of my brilliance I forgot it up there so we will have to go pick it up tomorrow when we drop off the carpet cleaner we borrowed. But all in all good fun and good foods and then Michael and Berry drove me home.
I swore I would finishthis blog and then go to bed but the arrival of Trevor, Cassie, April, Her kids and Ogre have slightly delayed my initial sleep time plans and It is now 11:37 when I was planning on being in bed by around 10ish. So I’m right on schedule… or as off schedule as I usually am. Well I’m headed off to bed with my ziploc bag and my masking tape so I can seal up my hand all good and proper when I take my morning shower tomorrow. All in all I hope it is a non busy fast paced day just so I don’t have to worry about anything major and can get home. As a general rule I truly hate Mondays because I can’t get back int he groove until about noonish and by then half the day is spent.
Night All and I hope you aren’t half the kultz I am.
On a final not however I am going to start composing the book of my life that everyone has been so adamant on. I will be changing names and altering a few events but I am going to create it I have finally decided.
Leave a Reply