Help

I never bothered to discover who was me
I live in a realm of dishonesty,
Never knowing if what i say is true or just what i would like it to be.
Why me? Why indecision? Why tears?
I want to see myself for what and who I am no longer afraid
I wonder anymore if there is someone in there
A “me” that i have yet to see
What is me?
Is it sex, love, happiness
Is it fulfilment? Entertainment?
The ability to be alone?
Did I really gain something with this?
Or did i yet again loose?
Am I hurting myself now or harboring a love i need?
Will I ever know what i want or need?
Do I have any skills?
Am I smart?
Am I good in bed?
Am I creative?
Am I original?
It’s like asking what a newborn child will grow into,
No one quite knows.
Is that what I am? A newborn child?
Is happiness in existence for me?
Or am I in a steady spiral of pain?

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